Learning what? From whom?

Some of our crazy students.

I imagine that most educators have the same thoughts: Is raising my own kid going to be like managing dozens of other people's kids?  Is my kid going to turn out like that? How can I get my kid to behave like that?  And, of course, that child we want our kid to emulate one moment, and is the same one we would consider the worst possible role model the next moment.

When you teach (or run an after-school/tutoring/college counseling program like I do) you meet a lot of kids (and tweens and teens).  You adore a lot of them.  You can't stand a few of them.  And you get to see them from all kinds of angles.  And because you aren't related to them, you are burdened with none of that unconditional love, you see aspects of kids that their parents often don't, or can't, see.

So, what can you learn about parenting kids from kids who are currently being parented?

I think about it ALL the time.

My colleagues and I talk about it ALL the time.

That whiny little sibling in the hallway who won't let his mom get a word in edgewise? How do you make sure your child doesn't do that?  And, now that you have a two year who shouts, whenever you have an adult conversation, "Stop talking!  I want to talk!" does that mean that's the road you're headed down? Is your child destined to become that whiny child?

Then there's the kids you're in awe of.

I make dozens of types of cookies and brownies and blondies and candies for our end of the year Summer Celebration.  We throw in a bit of savory junk food for good measure.  Then last year, I decided to add orzo salad to the mix (I use this recipe, but swap out parsley for green onions, toasted almonds for pine nuts, and up the lemon juice -- it's delicious, but a decidedly adult kind of delicious) Given the choice of chili, pizza, nachos (replete with velveeta), and scores of cookies and treats, one 7th grader could not get enough of the orzo salad.  When he saw it again this year he said, "That's my favorite!" How exactly do you raise a child with a palate like that?

And, let's not forget the pre-teen or teenager who ALWAYS says hello when he arrives and good-bye when he leaves, who always smiles and asks how you're doing, who always says please and thank you. You have to love that kid.  He's so personable and polite.  Yet, how do you make your kid that kid?

So, for years, I'm been talking about "when I have a kid..." or "if my kid ever starts to..." And then I had a kid.  And now she's two and a half.  My little baby has turned into an actual kid (it's true -- she's short but she's definitely a kid) and it's time to see where all musings lead.

Can I learn how to be a better parent by watching my crazy students?